Of Teens and Dares
by AnimationNut
Summary: A simple dare from Astrid to Snotlout is all it takes for the teens to engage in a one-for-all dare off. How far will they be able to go before they either end up killing each other or drive Stoick crazy?
1. The Instigator

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon Franchise.**

**The Instigator**

The morning sun shone down on the island of Berk. The wind was chilly and blistering as always, but for a Berk-day it was rather mild. Most of the Vikings were outside beginning their daily work, but some were gathered in the Great Hall and eating breakfast.

The six Viking teens were among them.

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III idly pushed his eggs around his plate. He wasn't terribly hungry but the ritual of eating meals in the Great Hall with his friends was one he never could pass up. After all, spending years eating alone was not something he wanted to return to. And although his friends used to mistreat him, they had apologized and he had forgiven. He never was one to hold grudges.

Despite the short amount of time he had been in the group Hiccup had already picked up a few things about his friends. Whenever Astrid punched you, it was never meant to be in mean-spirit (unless you were Snotlout and continuously said stupid, sexist things). It was simply a show of affection or used to remind Tuffnut that he should be paying attention or to tell Fishlegs he needed to stop being a coward. And when she punched Hiccup...well, he had yet to figure out _why _she enjoyed punching his arm so much. But he didn't mind the kisses that came after.

When the twins fought it wasn't because they hated each other. In fact, they were inseparable. It was simply something they did. The Thorston siblings fought and they fought rather well. Although Hiccup had to admit that even for Vikings they took 'sibling rivalry' to a whole new level.

Fishlegs, for the life of him, could not keep a secret. One look and he would spill everything. The glares and the consistent pestering made the boy break down faster than anyone Hiccup had ever seen. Regardless, he was still a loyal friend. Just a loyal friend you couldn't tell important secrets.

And finally, there was Snotlout. Since the boy was his cousin Hiccup knew quite a few things about him from the forced family gatherings they occasionally had. Snotlout was loud, obnoxious and arrogant. But despite his smug exterior he could be a decent guy-deep down-when he wanted to be one. But if there one thing Hiccup had _always _known about his cousin, it was that he couldn't resist a challenge.

"So, are we still going night-flying?" Astrid asked, bringing Hiccup from his thoughts.

"Heck yeah!" Snotlout exclaimed.

The twins paused in their slap-fight to give brief nods before going at it again.

Hiccup smiled. "Hey, Toothless is a Night-Fury. The night is pretty much our realm."

Astrid rolled her eyes with a smirk and cast a curious glance at Fishlegs, who had yet to speak up. "I can't," the boy mumbled, staring at the scratched table. "My parents still aren't too comfortable with the fact that I'm flying a dragon."

"That's understandable," Hiccup assured the boy. "They'll get used to the idea and soon you'll be able to fly whenever you want."

Fishlegs perked up. "You think so?"

From the little that he knew of Fishlegs' parents, Helga and Egil Ingerman were reasonable people who cared very much for their only child. He was sure once they saw that dragon riding was relatively safe they would loosen up. "I do."

Snotlout snorted. "Fishlegs, you're a man. You can't let your parents tell you what to do anymore."

"But...I still live with them." Fishlegs pointed out. "As long as I live under their roof I abide by their rules. And they're reasonable."

"Pfft. You can't let them push you around." Snotlout said firmly. "You gotta stand your ground."

"So, if your father told you right now you couldn't go night-flying, you'd tell him off?" Fishlegs said dubiously.

"You bet!"

"Yeah, right." Fishlegs shook his head.

Snotlout scowled. "I totally would!"

Astrid crossed her arms and smirked. "Fine then. The next time your dad tells you to do something you don't want to do, show him whose boss. I _dare _you."

And those three little words sealed it.

"You're on." Snotlout growled.

"Snotlout!"

The boy glanced up and discovered that the source of the call was Spitelout. "Yeah, Dad?"

"I need you to help me build the new stables today. We probably won't finish until late, so eat up!" Spitelout ordered.

Snotlout froze. Astrid snickered and glanced at the ceiling. "Thank you, Loki. Well, Snotlout? Why don't you tell him you already have plans?"

"Building the stables won't be that long." Snotlout tried to weasel his way out of the dare. He was not feeling the confidence he had been two minutes ago.

"You heard him. You might not finish until late." Astrid arched an eyebrow.

"What's the matter?" Tuffnut grinned. He and his sister had stopped their fighting in favour of something much more amusing. "Are you...chicken?"

"Bawk, bawk!" Ruffnut crowed.

Snotlout bristled and stood up. "Dad!"

The man turned around and eyed his son expectantly. Snotlout took a deep breath. "I've got plans today, so I can't help you out."

The few Vikings that were in the hall stopped their chattering and stared at the insolent boy. Snotlout swallowed thickly and tried to keep his chin held high. Spitelout narrowed his eyes. "I'm sorry to tell you that I don't care much of what you have planned. _You _will be helping _me_ with the construction."

"You can't tell me what to do!"

There. He said it. And the look of pure fury that raced through his father's gaze was _not _something he felt like facing at the moment.

"You're _so _gonna get it later!" He hissed to Astrid before racing off, abandoning his breakfast and slamming through the large wooden doors. Spitelout slowly got up from his seat and followed calmly after his son.

"I don't think we'll be seeing Snotlout for the next little while." Astrid laughed.

"Aren't you worried about what he'll dare _you _to do?" Tuffnut asked.

"Nope." The blonde said firmly. "I can handle whatever Snotlout wants to dish out in revenge."

"This is gonna be good." Ruffnut snickered.

Fishlegs swivelled his head between the twins and Astrid. "What's gonna be good?"

"Fishlegs, my friend." Hiccup sighed and shoved his plate away. "I think we are now about to become sucked into the horrors of a dare war."

**...why am I starting another story? I really have no idea. But the teens engaging in a dare contest was too much for me to resist. This is based after the movie and during the TV series.**

**And here's the fun part-you guys get to give me dares! Yes! So get those creative juices flowing and send those dare ideas in. The more ideas you give the more likely I am to update :P The next chapter, by the way, will be Snotlout daring Astrid to do something. So if you got any ideas, go wild!**

**Review please, and no flames!**


	2. Kissy Kissy

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**Kissy Kissy**

It was three days later when the teens laid eyes on Snotlout. The boy stumbled into the crowded Great Hall at lunchtime, his face glistening with sweat. Astrid grinned when he collapsed onto the bench beside her. "Did you stand up to your father?"

Snotlout glowered at her. "The man caught me at the bottom of the hall steps. He lugged me home, gave me the worst thrashing I've ever had, and put me to work for three days straight. I ended up building the stables _by myself. _I also redid our entire roof. No one in their right mind would stand up to my father after that."

"A smart man wouldn't have stood up to your father in the first place." Hiccup pointed out.

His cousin glared at him. "I'm no chicken. I don't back down from dares."

"So I've noticed," Hiccup muttered and popped a small piece of potato into his mouth.

"Speaking of dares." Snotlout swivelled around and jabbed a finger at the blonde beside him. "Payback shall be sweet!"

Astrid tilted her head determinedly. "Bring it on."

"Oh, I will! Just let me think!"

"Don't strain yourself." Hiccup mumbled under his breath.

Snotlout stole a piece of chicken from Fishlegs' plate and munched on it as he thought. "Hmm...I have so many options. I could dare you to streak through the village..."

Astrid paled ever so slightly and Hiccup ducked his head so that no one would see his blush.

"But I want to save the good dares for later." Snotlout added, giving the girl a momentary sense of relief.

"Wait, what do you mean later?" Fishlegs asked anxiously.

Snotlout grinned deviously. "Oh, Astrid started something great, my man. We are going to partake in a dare war in which Berk has never seen!"

"I didn't agree to this!" Hiccup said quickly. "No one did."

"I am so in!" Ruffnut exclaimed.

Tuffnut punched his sister in the shoulder. "I can't wait to give you some gruesome dares."

Astrid crossed her arms and grinned. "You guys are going down."

Fishlegs shook his head frantically. "I _really _don't want to do this."

"What's the matter?" Snotlout taunted. "Are you afraid?"

"Yes!" Fishlegs exclaimed. "You just said a few seconds ago you would save a streaking dare for Astrid for later on. I don't think I can handle your dares."

"It'll be fun!" Astrid persuaded. "You'll get a chance to make a fool out of this dork." She jerked her head at Snotlout, who scowled at her.

Fishlegs thought. He would no doubt be given insane and disgusting dares from the others, but they would be doing the same style of dares. They would all be making fools of themselves. And their activities would no doubt be inside jokes for a _long _time to come. He wanted to be a part of that, even if his parents would kill him if they discovered what he was about to agree to.

"Fine," he said. "But I have the right to refuse a dare."

"We all have the right to refuse two dares." Astrid bargained. "If we feel so inclined."

" Okay." Fishlegs agreed. "I'm in."

Hiccup hesitantly glanced at the expectant stares of his friends. _I can't believe I'm doing this. _"Sure, whatever."

"This is going to be awesome!" Ruffnut grinned with anticipation. "So Snotlout, what's your dare for Astrid?"

Snotlout tapped his fingers together and attempted to look evil. "Well...it's always been my dream to get a kiss from Astrid."

The blonde stared in horror, knowing exactly what was about to come next. Snotlout smirked. "Astrid, I dare you to kiss me. And I mean _kiss _me. No sissy peck on the lips."

"Uh..."Hiccup sputtered, glancing between a stricken Astrid and a smug Snotlout. "I don't think kissing should be allowed-"

"In a dare war, there areno rules." Snotlout cut his cousin off and crossed his arms. "Well, Astrid? I'm waiting. Or are you going to refuse this dare in the first round?"

Astrid glared heatedly at the boy. "I hate you." She growled, although there wasn't any real malice behind her words-only annoyance and disgust. She reluctantly leaned forwards but before she got too close Snotlout jumped on the table.

"Up here," he taunted as all the Vikings in the Great Hall turned to stare at him. Astrid snarled and climbed on top of the table.

"You will die for this."

"Uh-huh. Pucker up, Princess." Snotlout closed his eyes and leaned forwards slightly. Astrid held back a gag and quickly closed the distance, placing a full kiss on the boy's lips. Hiccup screwed his face up in revulsion and looked away. Ruffnut whooped and Tuffnut burst into hysteric laughter.

After a full thirty seconds Astrid yanked away, unable to take anymore. The lingering taste of sweat caused the girl to lose her control and she leaned over the edge of the table, retching onto the wooden floor. She gingerly wiped her lips and Snotlout (who did not know when to quit) pumped his fist in the air. "Ah yeah, I'm the Viking!"

Furious, sick and humilated, Astrid grabbed her axe, which was resting by the side of the table. Snotlout (for the second time that week) raced out of the Great Hall. The blonde whirled to the howling Tuffnut and jabbed a finger at him threateningly. "You just wait until tomorrow."

"Looking forward to it!" Tuffnut retorted. Astrid rolled her eyes and hurried from the Great Hall.

"Yeah, one of us will die in the course of this game." Hiccup remarked and attempted to erase the disgusting picture of Astrid kissing Snotlout from his mind.

Across the hall, Spitelout sat at a table with Gobber. The blacksmith glanced at the man and shook his head. "I have no idea what that was about, but your son does not know when to shut up."

Spitelout snorted and took a long drink from his cup of mead. "Tell me about. He's a little idiot."

He had a feeling his son would come home adorned with bruises and probably an injury that would develop into a scar.

Such normally happened when Snotlout managed to tick Astrid off bad enough.

**This was a pretty common suggestion and I figured Snotlout would dare Astrid to kiss him, as he is Snotlout :P I'll probably use some of the other dare suggestions later on though :)**

**Next chapter-In which Astrid dares Tuffnut.**

**Review please, but no flames.**


	3. Mission: Steal Stoick's Helmet

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**Mission: Steal Stoick's Helmet**

Ruffnut heaved a basket of fish into Barf and Belch's stable, her brother trailing lazily behind. The girl yelped when the two heads snapped gently at the basket upon smelling their breakfast. "Are you going to help me or not, Butt-Elf?"

"Not." Tuffnut smirked and watched as his sister tumbled the rest of the way into the stable, tripping over her feet and falling to the ground. The fish spilled out and Barf and Belch eagerly gobbled the food up. Ruffnut scowled and picked herself up, brushing the dirt from her clothes.

"Normally, this is where I'd say you're gonna pay, but I'm sure Astrid will do that for me."

Tuffnut snorted. "Let's be honest-what _won't _I do?"

Ruffnut considered this before sighing. "Good point. Still, it's always fun watching you make a fool of yourself."

"And that's exactly what will happen."

The siblings turned to see Astrid framed in the stable entrance, the sun casting a glow on her thin frame. Barf and Belch warbled in greeting before going back to their breakfast. Astrid sauntered into the stable and stood in front of Tuffnut.

"This is gonna be good." Ruffnut bounced on her heels eagerly.

"Tuffnut, I dare you to steal Chief's helmet."

"Piece of cake." Tuffnut said dismissively.

"While he's wearing it." Astrid smirked. "As in, right now."

"Are you trying to get me banished?" Tuffnut cried as his sister burst into laughter.

"What happened to _what won't I do_?" Ruffnut asked between giggles.

"You're not going to get banished." Astrid rolled her eyes. "Besides, Hiccup wouldn't let him do that. You have to steal that helmet by dinner. If it helps, Stoick is holding a meeting this afternoon with the other Vikings in regards to coming up with new defense manoeuvres."

"Uh...tell me more on how that helps."

"It _helps_, you dunce, because you steal the helmet right off his head while he's busy conducting the meeting." Astrid snapped. "And if you don't complete the dare by dinner you lose one of your get-out-of-a-dare freebies."

"Got it." Tuffnut mock saluted the blonde. "By dinner the helmet will be mine."

Astrid smirked. "Maybe. Maybe not." She twisted on her heel and stalked out of the stable (and into the fresh, non-rotten air).

"How are you gonna pull this one off, idiot?" Ruffnut asked.

Tuffnut screwed his face up in thought. "I'm gonna steal his helmet while he's at the boring meeting. I'm gonna hide in the rafters of the Great Hall."

Ruffnut waited, but it soon became clear that was all to Tuffnut's plan. She shook her head. "Oh, _great _plan, Butt-Elf."

"Thanks. I thought so, Bride-of-Grendel."

...

Tuffnut slipped into the Great Hall minutes before the adult Vikings were due to have their meeting. The boy glanced at the high wooden rafters hesitantly and climbed onto one of the tables. He jumped, his fingers brushing the edge of the rafter. He cursed and stared nervously at the door. The last thing he wanted was to be busted by the chief.

Astrid would never let him live it down.

Tuffnut jumped again, managing to get a decent grip on the rafter. He hauled himself up and gripped the support tightly. A minute later, the doors opened and the Vikings spilled into the hall, gathering around the central fire. Stoick stood at the head of the group and spread a map out on the stone table that surrounded the fire.

The blonde boy took a deep breath before wriggling carefully along the rafter. He tuned out Stoick's speech as he crawled. He never held any interest in the meetings and could care less about coming up with new defense strategies. They were never violent enough to keep his interest.

Tuffnut came to the end of his rafter and glanced below. Stoick was too far away for him to reach, which meant he would have to jump to the opposite rafter.

_Great._

Gobber glanced up when a movement caught his attention. His eyebrow arched upon seeing the male Thorston sibling balancing precariously on the wooden rafters above. No one else had noticed the boy and after a moment of thought Gobber stayed silent.

He was curious to see what stupid thing the boy would do.

He watched as Tuffnut jumped to the rafter above Stoick's head. The lad grinned triumphantly when no one noticed his move-only for his features to twist into panic as the rafter gave a loud _creak._

The wooden rafter snapped, causing Tuffnut to plummet onto the stone table in front of Stoick, his butt inches away from the central fire. The Vikings shouted in shock and surprise, the dust momentarily cutting off their vision.

Tuffnut lay in shock for only a moment before seizing the moment. He snatched the helmet from Stoick's head and tore from the Great Hall, running as fast as he could. Gobber shook his head and eyed Stoick, who looked ready to explode from anger.

Red-faced, Stoick slowly moved towards the wooden doors Tuffnut had just disappeared out of. Thorgerd Thorston stared in stunned disbelief as his chief exited the hall. "My son is an idiot." He moaned. "Not _just _an idiot, but _the _idiot."

"I'm sure his sister put him up to this." Gobber said, rather amused. "But yes, Tuffnut is quite the idiot."

"I'm gonna kill him." Thorgerd growled, embarrassed beyond belief.

"I think Stoick is going to beat you to it." Gobber chuckled.

...

Astrid leaned against the forge entrance, watching as Hiccup crafted a new sword. It was a place she found herself often, taking interest in the boy's work (and the boy himself, of course).

"_Astrid!"_

Surprised, the blonde turned around. Hiccup curiously peered around her, watching as Tuffnut came racing over the slope and waving a helmet in the air. "I got it!" He shouted, running past.

"Nice one!" Astrid called after him, impressed.

Hiccup gaped. "Is that my dad's helmet?"

The man himself lumbered up the slope, eyes burning. "YOU GOT FIVE SECONDS, THORSTON." He thundered. "TO RETURN MY HELMET OR ELSE YOU'LL BE MUCKING OUT THE BARN FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!"

Astrid smirked at Hiccup's expression. "Does that answer your question?"

**Dare suggested by ****MorganViking8998 :)**

**Next chapter: In which Tuffnut dares Fishlegs.**


	4. There's Something You Don't See Everyday

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**There's Something You Don't See Everyday**

Stoick the Vast stood at the edge of the barn, watching as Tuffnut did the dirty job of mucking out the stalls. He had given the boy the punishment for only two days, as really, stealing his helmet was not the worst thing the Thorston boy had done. Tuffnut had even endured his punishment with no whining, which was unusual.

"Alright, Tuffnut." Stoick finally spoke and the boy looked at him hopefully, his grip on the shovel already going lax. "That's enough. Try another stupid stunt like that again and you'll wish you were mucking out the barn for the rest of your life."

"Yes sir." Tuffnut eagerly tossed the shovel aside. "Thank you sir."

Stoick merely grunted as the boy tore past him and straight for the Great Hall. The tribe leader shook his head and moved on to the next task of the day.

The blonde boy burst into the Great Hall, immediately eliciting cries of disgust from the Vikings gathered at the various wooden tables. His friends, who were used to the off-putting stench of the twins, merely wrinkled their noses as Tuffnut dropped onto the bench beside his sister. Ruffnut scowled and punched him in the arm. "Couldn't you have bothered to take a bath before coming over here?"

"I don't bathe." Tuffnut said dismissively. To irritate his friends further, he grabbed a piece of fish from Snotlout's plate and rubbed it under his armpits. "There. Is that better?"

"Surprisingly, yes." Astrid muttered.

"Enough chit-chat!" Snotlout exclaimed, hardly minding that his lunch had been stolen. "Tuff, what's your dare for Ruff?"

"Ah, that is the most obvious person I'd dare, isn't it?" Tuffnut said mysteriously. "But no! I am going to dare Fishlegs!"

"Eep!" The husky boy squeaked.

"This should be interesting." Ruffnut mused and rested her chin in her hands. "What is it?"

"Fishlegs, I dare you to chase a herd of sheep through the village while wearing a dress, while singing a song _and _while riding Meatlug who will be dressed as a _fish_!" Tuffnut threw his arms out dramatically.

A stunned silence descended upon the table before most of the teens burst into laughter. Fishlegs looked absolutely stricken and Hiccup clapped a hand over his mouth to muffle his giggles. "That's...creative." Hiccup managed to say.

"I'm gonna pee!" Astrid cackled and slapped the surface of the table with the palm of her hand. "And Fishlegs hasn't even _done _it yet."

"Where am I supposed to get a dress?" Fishlegs cried. "And how the heck am I supposed to dress Meatlug up as a fish?"

"We'll help!" Astrid tried to regain control and punched Hiccup in the shoulder. "I'm sure I can find a dress somewhere. Can we throw in some makeup to?"

"Yes!" Tuffnut exclaimed. "That is a good idea."

"Astrid!"

"I'm sorry!" Astrid held back a chuckle. "I just can't wait to see this."

"Get to it!" Snotlout urged, waving Astrid, Hiccup and Fishlegs off. "This is going to be hilarious!"

Fishlegs moaned and slumped after his friends. "This is going to be humiliating."

"Hey, you'll be able to get Tuffnut back sooner or later." Hiccup assured the boy. "And don't worry, when Snotlout decides to dare me, I'm going to be in the same boat as you."

"Hiccup, you work on turning Meatlug into a fish." Astrid ordered. "I'm gonna grab a dress. We'll meet at the grazing fields in an hour."

"Do-able," Hiccup agreed and set off. Astrid grabbed Fishlegs by the arm and led him over to his house. Fishlegs gaped as the blonde threw open his front door and ventured inside.

"We are _not _stealing one of my mother's dresses! She'll kill me!"

"We're borrowing." Astrid corrected. She stumbled upon the room of Fishlegs' parents and went straight for the wooden chest. She rummaged around and removed a dark purple dress adorned with brass buttons and a lacy hem. "Perfect! Where does your mother keep her makeup?"

"She only has crushed roses." Fishlegs finally admitted, pointing at the shelf above the bed. "She uses it to brighten her cheeks for special occasions."

Astrid snagged the small satchel from the shelf her friend pointed out. "Let's go to the grazing fields. I don't anyone to see you in this get-up until everything is together."

"You shouldn't be having so much fun with this." Fishlegs muttered.

...

An hour later, Hiccup arrived at the grazing fields with Meatlug in tow. Astrid nearly fell from the wooden fence, she was laughing so hard. Hiccup had used metal rods to make the frames of fish fins and a fish tail. He then filled the frame with parchment that was dyed a silvery-blue. "That's great!"

Hiccup grinned and patted Meatlug on the head. "She was pretty cooperative to. How's Fishlegs holding up?"

"Better than I thought he would." The blonde turned her head slightly. "Fishlegs! It's time!"

The boy reluctantly emerged from behind the chicken coop. Hiccup snorted with laughter and hastily turned it into a cough. "Um...it's not so bad."

Fishlegs glared. The purple dress was tight and itchy. Since he was actually taller than his mother, the dress revealed a bit of his chunky legs. Not to mention Astrid went crazy with the crushed rose-his cheeks were a bright pinkish-red.

"Okay," Astrid wheezed, holding her stomach. "We're gonna go get the rest of the guys. We'll whistle when we're all gathered in the plaza."

"I hate you." Fishlegs said half-heartedly. The two grinned before departing. The husky boy turned to see his dragon giving him a curious look. "Yeah. I know. I'm a weirdo with weird friends. Be thankful you look ten-times better than I do."

Meatlug growled softly in agreement.

Fishlegs mounted Meatlug and urged her into the grazing fields. The sheep eyed him and started bleating. "Oh great. _They're _laughing at me now."

Suddenly, a sharp whistle echoed across Berk. Fishlegs swallowed thickly. "There's the whistle. Oh, shoot, I gotta sing a song to, don't I? Uh...I'll make one up."

He took a deep breath and started to sing the first lyrics that came to mind.

_I am a Viking of some note.  
Fishlegs' my name and here I float  
Out on the sea in a great big boat._

The sheep, startled by the terribly off-key voice, started stampeding for the open gate. Fishlegs chased after them and whimpered when the plaza quickly came into view.

_And I'm the one who beats the drum in time  
To stroke the oars that drive our galleons on.  
And while we rowed we had our song  
And we had our god, and it may seem odd._

The sheep raced through the plaza, causing Vikings to holler and jumped out of the way. The five teens were sitting safely on Snotlout's roof, watching as the sheep tore through the plaza with Fishlegs following behind. They were all screaming with laughter, the reactions of the other Vikings utterly priceless and Fishlegs' singing completely hilarious.

_But at least there was a cause  
Caught a wind and we upped the sail.  
Lost two ships when it turned to a gale  
Down went a third when she rammed on a whale._

Toothless watched in bafflement at the scene before him. He shuffled back a bit to avoid being slammed into by the sheep and a rapidly-approaching Meatlug. _"What is going on?" _He rumbled.

"_I wish I knew. Your boy dressed me up and my boy started doing...this." _Meatlug called as she hurried by. _"I think one of the twins put him up to it, from what Hiccup was saying when he apologized for dressing me up like this."_

Toothless watched as Fishlegs, Meatlug and the sheep disappeared from the plaza. He eyed the stunned Vikings before drifting his gaze to the hysterical teenagers on the roof across the plaza. Astrid and Hiccup were holding onto each other for support and Snotlout had tears of mirth streaming down his face.

And then there were the twins, who were laughing so hard they rolled off the edge of the roof.

Toothless quickly swooped in, the twins landing safely on his back. The event did not stop the twins from laughing. Ruffnut patted his head and giggled madly. "T-t-thanks, Toothless. D-d-did you _see _Fishlegs?"

"That was the single greatest moment in my life." Tuffnut breathed. "I am a genius."

**Dare suggested by Living Encyclopedia :)**

**The song is the Song of the Viking by Todd Rundgren. Obviously, I do not own the song (I just changed one little word to Fishlegs).**

**Next chapter: In which Fishlegs dares Hiccup.**


	5. Time for a Beard-Cut

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**Time for a Beard-Cut**

Fishlegs refused to leave his house for two whole days after the incident. His parents had demanded an explanation, but really, there wasn't much of one. It had taken a few hours, but Fishlegs managed to convince his parents that he had not gone mad.

The husky boy eventually gathered enough courage to venture outside. He kept his head down and strode briskly for the Great Hall, where he knew his friends were eating breakfast. Fishlegs cautiously opened the large wooden doors and was relieved to see that most of the Vikings had already finished eating. The only ones left were his friends.

Who promptly burst into laughter upon seeing him.

"It's not funny!" Fishlegs snapped, his face flushing red. "My parents thought I'd lost my mind."

"I'd think that too." Astrid giggled and moved over so that Fishlegs could have a seat. "I'm sorry, but that had to have been the funniest thing I have ever seen."

"So far." Snotlout added. "There are plenty more dare opportunities left."

"Joy." Fishlegs mumbled.

"That means..."Snotlout urged. "You have to deliver a dare to someone."

"Alright." Fishlegs eyed Ruffnut, who arched a challenging eyebrow back. Hastily he turned to Hiccup. The lanky boy's fork hovered inches from his mouth.

"Shoot," he muttered. Sighing heavily he dropped the fork to his plate and stared at his friend. "Alright. What is it?"

"Er..."Fishlegs fumbled for a moment, trying to think of a dare that wasn't too mean or too lame. "I dare you to cut off your father's beard."

"Oh, man!" Tuffnut laughed and slapped Ruffnut in the shoulder. "Did you hear that?"

"That's a good one." Ruffnut said, impressed.

"It is not!" Hiccup protested. "My dad will _kill _me."

"Aw, come on. He's a Viking." Astrid waved a hand dismissively. "He'll grow it back in no time."

Hiccup glanced at Fishlegs wearily. "Do I have to cut it _all _off?"

Fishlegs took pity on his friend. "How about half? That way, it'll look even more ridiculous since the hair will be all choppy and uneven."

"Don't be a sissy!" Snotlout cried. "Make him shave it all off!"

Astrid shot a glare at the boy. "And how would your father take to have his beard shaved off?"

Snotlout paused and thought about the many possible reactions that would come from such an event. "Point taken. Alright, I guess it'll still be funny."

Hiccup rubbed his forehead. "So...can I do it tonight?"

"Sure thing." Fishlegs agreed. "But won't your dad know automatically that you did it?"

"I don't think so. Dad probably doesn't think I have the guts to do something like that." Hiccup shrugged. "So long as I don't get caught, I should be fine."

"I so hope you get caught." Snotlout grinned widely. "That would make my day."

"You're _such _a wonderful cousin." Hiccup quipped before getting to his feet. "If I'm going to do this, I'm going to need a pair of shears or something."

"Good luck," Astrid said as Hiccup departed. "I have a feeling you're going to need it."

...

Night fell far quicker than Hiccup would have liked. The auburn-haired boy slowly sat up in his bed and listened intently. He could hear his father's snoring coming from downstairs. Swallowing thickly, he stood up and grabbed a small pair of shears that he had hidden under his bed. Toothless blinked sleepily as Hiccup moved about, his prosthetic foot making a soft _clink _with every step.

"Go back to sleep, bud." Hiccup whispered as he approached the stairs. "I'm about to do something incredibly stupid."

Toothless eyed his human warily for a moment before deciding that he didn't want to know. He gave a soft warble before curling back up. Hiccup descended down the wooden stairs and crossed the main room, where his father's bedroom was located.

"Oh, why am I doing this?" Hiccup moaned and stood uncertainly in the doorframe. The rumbling snores shook his father's chest, and the ginger curls of his beard were splayed out in plain view. Hiccup took a deep breath and carefully walked into the room.

_Here goes nothing._

Bit by bit, Hiccup removed the thick curls that made up Stoick's impressive beard. The pieces of hair tumbled down his massive chest and onto the wooden floor. Hiccup winced at the jagged edges he was creating, but he was in too much of a hurry to make it look all neat.

Hiccup pressed the shears together, ready to make the final cut. It was extremely annoying to find that the shears would not pull apart. They were stuck to Stoick's beard.

_Fantastic._

Ginger, Hiccup jiggled the small shears in an attempt to pry them loose. It soon became apparent that the only way to free the shears was to remove it from the hair. And there was only way to do that.

_Thor help me._

Gritting his teeth together, Hiccup pulled with all his might. A huge chunk of beard was torn from Stoick's face with a nasty _rip_. The tribe leader shot upwards with a bellow of pain and Hiccup dove underneath the bed before he was spotted. Trembling and heart pounding, Hiccup cowered under the bed and gripped the shears to his chest.

"_ODIN'S GHOST!"_

Noticing the curled pieces of red hair on the wooden floor, Stoick got to his feet and lumbered over reflective metal that hung on the wall beside the door. He stared in horror at the choppy bits of beard that still hung from his chin.

What was worse, however, was that half of his face didn't _have _any facial hair. The other side did.

Oaths and swears echoed through the Haddock household. Stoick stormed outside, believing that the culprit must have recently committed the crime and was intent on finding him (or her) and giving them a good thrashing.

Hiccup scrambled out from underneath Stoick's bed and removed the large piece of ginger hair from the shears and tossed it to the floor. He flew up the stairs to his room, flung the shears under his bed and cowered underneath his covers, his father's violent oaths echoing through his mind.

**Dare suggested by Sweetea8 :)**

**Next chapter: In which Hiccup dares Ruffnut.**


	6. Bye-Bye Peg Leg

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**Bye-Bye Peg Leg**

The sun was high in the sky, and Hiccup still hadn't arrived in the Great Hall. Astrid cast a worried glance at the seat beside her Hiccup normally occupied. "Gee, I hope his dad didn't catch him."

"I didn't mean for him to get in trouble." Fishlegs said fearfully, knowing full well the wrath of which Stoick was capable of.

"It's all part of the game." Astrid assured the boy. "You take the dare, you take the consequences that come with it."

Just as the words left her mouth the doors swung open, revealing the Hooligan tribe leader in all of his glory. The first thing everyone noticed was the fact that he only had a quarter of a beard with jagged edges. The rest of it had been completely taken off.

Snotlout bit the inside of his cheek and stared at the wooden tabletop. His friends were quick to copy his actions as the man slowly walked towards a table at the back of the hall. For a brief instant, his eyes lingered on the teens before he continued his way.

The teens did not trust themselves to look up, for fear they would burst into laughter. Astrid shoved a piece of bread into her mouth and tried not to think about how ridiculous Stoick looked.

A minute later Hiccup entered the hall and sat beside Astrid. Snotlout risked a glance at his cousin and asked, "What did you _do_?"

"Ssh!" Hiccup hissed, for he thought that the question was asked a little too loudly in the quiet hall. "I tried taking off only half, but the shears got stuck and I ended up taking off more than I intended. He woke up, I hid, and that was that."

"So you didn't get busted?" Astrid asked in relief.

"Thankfully, no."

"Remind me to never ask you for a haircut." Tuffnut drawled.

Astrid snorted. "Please. The two of you have _never _gotten a haircut." She reached out and yanked on a strand of Tuffnut's long, greasy blonde locks. "But you really could use one." She paused for a moment and grinned deviously. "I think I have a dare lined up for one of you."

"Nice going, dork!" Ruffnut scowled and punched her brother in the shoulder. "You gave her ideas!"

"I didn't mean to!" Tuffnut protested. "Plus, if she makes me cut off my hair, I'll make her cut off _her _hair. It'll be full circle!"

"This is a dangerous game that we play." Hiccup sighed. Astrid smiled at him and pushed her plate towards him, offering some of her food. Hiccup smiled gratefully and stole a fried potato.

"Alright Ruffnut, I've got a dare for you." Hiccup spoke. "I dare you to steal Gobber's peg leg."

"Is that all?" Ruffnut waved a hand dismissively. "I'll do that right now."

Hiccup stared at the girl in disbelief. "_Right now?_"

"It's more of a challenge this way." Ruffnut said cheerfully. She jerked a thumb at the blacksmith, who was sitting at the same table as Stoick and Spitelout in the back of the hall. "I think now is the perfect time."

"I cannot wait to see this." Snotlout grinned in anticipation.

Ruffnut casually got up and walked across the hall. Making sure no one was watching, she ducked underneath a table that was three away from the one Gobber was sitting at. The teens watched as the girl crawled underneath all three tables. She carefully weaved her way underneath the one the blacksmith was occupying.

"Here we go..."Tuffnut smiled brightly.

_Yoink!_

Gobber hollered in surprise, rocketing to his one foot and wobbling unsteadily. Ruffnut scrambled out from underneath the table and waved the peg leg wildly in the air. "Victory!" She hollered and tore from the hall.

Gobber gaped after the female Thorston. After a moment, he spoke. "I'm not exactly in the best condition to chase after the hellion. So..."

"I'll do it." Spitelout sighed and got to his feet. He ran out of the hall in pursuit.

"What in blazes got into her?" Stoick muttered.

"The same thing that got into the joker that cut off your beard." Gobber informed. He glared suspiciously at the teens, who were doing a very poor job of holding in their laughter. "Alright, which one of you put her up to it?"

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about." Hiccup managed. It was very difficult to keep a serious face when your mentor was teetering on one foot.

"My sister is crazy." Tuffnut smirked. "She should probably be shipped off where she won't infect anyone else with her weirdness."

Astrid punched the boy in the shoulder. "I'm sure Ruffnut just thought it would be a funny joke to play."

"And it was." Snotlout snickered.

Gobber shook his head and collapsed on the bench. "They're up to something."

"I've no doubt." Stoick grumbled. He gingerly prodded the rough patch of skin where his beard used to be. "And when I find out who did this, they'll regret the day."

"Aye, Ruffnut will be sharpening swords till her hands bleed." Gobber agreed. "It's a simple task even she can manage it."

The large wooden doors opened, and Spitelout marched in with Ruffnut in hands. The girl grinned at the blacksmith and her chief. "Oh, come on. You have to admit, that was _hilarious._"

No longer able to control themselves, the teens burst into hysterical laughter.

Indeed, the look on Gobber's face when his leg was snatched was _priceless._

**Dare suggested by I Love John Gallagher Jr :)**

**Next chapter: In which Ruffnut dares Astrid.**

**If I didn't use your dare in the first round, then there's a good chance I will in the next round :) There's a few dares that I'm saving for later chapters, so thanks for all the suggestions!**


	7. I Do Thee Wed

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**I Do Thee Wed...**

Ruffnut spent three days in Gobber's forge, sharpening swords for hours on end. When her hands started to blister and bleed on the third day the blacksmith sent her off with a grim promise of what would happen to her if she ever tried something stupid like _that _again.

The blonde girl walked through the plaza, gingerly blowing on her aching hands. She started to head for the Great Hall when she heard someone call her name. Ruffnut turned her head slightly and spotted her brother waving at her from the old watchtower. She twisted on her heel and jogged over to her friends.

"How'd it go?" Hiccup asked when the girl climbed into the tower.

"Hard and painful." Ruffnut collapsed beside her brother. "But when you're a Viking, everything is hard and painful."

"Good point."

"Did you get busted yet?"

Hiccup shook his head. "No, thank Thor. His beard is starting to grow back in rough patches, so in a month he won't look so...crappy."

"Beautiful choice of words." Astrid snickered.

"I thought so to."

The two exchanged soft smiles and Ruffnut studied them for a moment before throwing her hands in the air. "I have it!"

"Have what?" Tuffnut asked.

"A dare for Astrid!"

"Here we go." Fishlegs moaned.

"I can't wait to hear this." Astrid crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow.

Ruffnut cleared her throat dramatically. "I dare you to 'marry' Hiccup on the roof of the Great Hall."

A blush crossed Hiccup's face and Astrid winked at him. "Hey, that's the best dare ever."

"I'm not finished. Hiccup has to be the one wearing the dress, you'll be the one in the suit and Toothless will be the one marrying you guys-in a grass skirt." Ruffnut jumped to her feet in excitement. "_And _Astrid has to eat a piece of fish that was regurgitated by Toothless and then kiss Hiccup!"

"Yeah, that last part, was the _only _part I liked." Astrid said flatly.

"Wait a minute!" Hiccup cried. "This is Astrid's dare, not mine! Why do _I _have to wear the dress?"

Ruffnut shrugged and dropped back to her seat. "Fine. If you refuse to do it, then you're making Astrid refuse a dare and she'll be that close to losing this war."

When Hiccup hesitated Astrid swung around and punched him in the shoulder. "Ouch!" Hiccup scowled and rubbed the developing bruise. "Astrid, I am _not-_"

"Do it for me? Please?" Astrid pleaded.

Hiccup swallowed and slumped in defeat. Astrid sighed with relief and faced Ruffnut. "Name the time."

Ruffnut tapped her chin thoughtfully. "How about three hours from now? Is that enough time for you guys to get ready?"

"It's plenty of time." Astrid got to her feet and looked at Hiccup. "You work on getting Toothless into a grass skirt and getting me a suit. I'll find a dress for you to wear." She glanced at Ruffnut. "What else?"

"The regurgitated fish," she reminded.

"Oh yeah. Get that too."

"Not a problem." Hiccup muttered. Astrid pecked him on the cheek before hurrying off.

Snotlout grinned at his cousin. "This will be even better than the Fishlegs incident."

"Is that what the village is calling it?" Fishlegs asked in dismay. "Aw, man."

"Don't worry, buddy." Hiccup reluctantly got up and started down the ramp. "Once this happens, everyone will forget about your little 'incident'."

...

Hiccup looked rather miserable.

Toothless picked on his human's mood immediately when the boy dropped a basket of fish in front of him. The Night Fury gobbled several up before glancing at Hiccup. He was slumped on the ground beside him, sewing multiple long blades of grass together with a single piece of string.

The memory of Meatlug running through the plaza dressed like a fish entered his mind and he barked in protest. A small smile graced Hiccup's lips and he glanced at his dragon. "Yeah, it's what you're thinking. But it's only for a little while, and it's only a grass skirt."

_I don't know what you and your crazy friends are doing, but why do I have to be dragged into it? _Toothless complained. But of course, Hiccup did not hear this and simple patted him on the head before going back to work.

Toothless sighed and went back to his fish. Really, Hiccup didn't seem too happy by the idea either. He wasn't sure what was happening, but what he did know was that he wanted to cheer his best friend up.

_Gack!_

Hiccup held back a gag as a slimy piece of fish landed in his lap. "Yeah, I thought so. Sorry bud, I appreciate the thought but this has to be saved for Astrid."

Toothless did not mind. He liked the girl and knew that Hiccup _really _liked her.

Perhaps he would give Astrid the fish as a symbol of his love. That was something humans did, wasn't it?

...

The teens gathered behind the hall three hours later. Hiccup was wearing a traditional white dress that oddly fit him well. Astrid wore a baggy suit that had a few rips in the pants. Toothless, of course, wore the grass skirt (the Night Fury struggled to resist the urge to scratch at it).

"Where's the fish?" Ruffnut demanded. "It's not complete without the fish!"

Hiccup rolled his eyes and held out a basket, which contained a single regurgitated fish.

Snotlout smirked. "I bet it tastes great when it's cold."

Astrid glared at him. "Shut up."

"Get moving!" Ruffnut hissed. "There's a good crowd lining up for dinner!"

Astrid and Hiccup mounted Toothless and they flew up to the roof. Astrid dropped the basket in between herself and Hiccup and the two stood in front of the Night Fury, who muttered under his breath (of course, the kids only heard annoyed grunts).

"It's your dare and for some reason I'm the one who's more humiliated." Hiccup whispered.

Astrid grimaced. "I don't know. At least the dress you're wearing is clean. Mine has mould in it. And I have to eat a fish that was previously in a dragon's stomach."

"I'm. In. A. Dress!" Hiccup snapped.

"And you look hot in it."

"You so owe me."

"I think I can deal with that."

"_Hiccup?"_

The flabbergasted voice of Stoick the Vast reminded the teens of what they were supposed to be doing. "Eat the fish before he comes up here!" Hiccup said frantically.

Astrid bent down and took the fish from the basket. She took a large bite out of it, swallowed and promptly kissed Hiccup on the lips.

For Astrid, it made up for eating the nasty fish.

For Hiccup, it _almost _made up for him wearing a dress in public.

"Aw!" Ruffnut cooed. "How adorable!"

Tuffnut and Snotlout were in hysterics, unable to get over the sight of Hiccup in a dress that actually looked good on him. Fishlegs only gaped, wondering why he was friends with these lunatics. The crowd of Vikings stared, stunned.

And Stoick had passed out from the sheer humiliation and bafflement from what he had just witnessed.

**Dare suggested by Lighty 7 :)**

**Next chapter: In which Astrid dares Tuffnut.**


	8. Unappetizing Meal

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**Unappetizing Meal**

When Hiccup did not show up for breakfast, Astrid grabbed a muffin and jogged to his house, hoping that Stoick hadn't shipped him off for the little stunt that they had pulled yesterday.

The blonde climbed the grassy slope that led to the Haddock household and rapped on the wooden door (a practice that she was not accustomed to). A few seconds later the door creaked open and a pair of cautious green eyes glanced through the small crack.

"Hey, Hiccup." Astrid put on her sweetest smile and thrust out the muffin. "I brought you some breakfast."

"This is a very poor apology in comparison to what you made me do." Hiccup said flatly. But he accepted the muffin anyway.

"Well, you did agree to it." Astrid pointed out. "Even if I used...some persuasion."

"Not the word I was thinking of, but alright."

"Aw, Hiccup, I said I was sorry." Astrid pouted slightly.

Hiccup sighed heavily and opened the door completely. "I know, I know. I accept your apology and promise not to make you feel guilty every time I recall the horrid experience of me wearing a dress in front of the entire village."

"Fishlegs can share your pain." Astrid grinned and pecked the boy on the cheek. "How did your dad take it?"

"I managed to convince Gobber to help me lug my dad home. We put him in bed and when he came to and started yelling at me I told him that he must have been dreaming." Hiccup grimaced. "Let's see how long that excuse holds up."

"What did Gobber say?"

"He couldn't stop laughing."

"Is Toothless mad?"

"Nah. Just confused. I can't say I blame him."

Astrid sighed with relief. "Good to know everything worked out."

"Wouldn't take it that far." Hiccup arched an eyebrow. "There are plenty of other Vikings that witnessed the whole ordeal with their own eyes. I will never hear the end of it and my dad will probably realize sooner or later that what he saw _wasn't _a dream."

"You're quite the optimist, aren't you?" Astrid quipped. She leaned against the doorframe and smiled mischievously. "But I think I have the cure for your moodiness."

"I can't wait to hear this." Hiccup crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow expectantly.

"It's my turn to dare someone. I was thinking of daring Tuffnut and decided to run my dare by you to see if it meets your approval."

"You need my approval because...?"

"I thought that if the dare was appropriately humiliating, you wouldn't feel so bad about what you had to do to help me with my dare." Astrid explained.

"Ah. Fire away."

"I was thinking of daring Tuffnut to eat one of his father's boots."

Hiccup blinked. He stared at the blonde for a moment before a smirk crossed his face. "Yeah. That would actually make me feel appreciative of what I was forced to do for you."

"Then I guess I better get going." Astrid grinned widely. "I have a lunch special to deliver to Tuffnut and I'd hate to be late."

Hiccup waved as Astrid took off towards the Thorston household. The boy shook his head and closed the door. "What have I gotten myself into?" He mused.

...

Lunch rolled around and the group had gathered at their usual table in the Great Hall. Tuffnut ate his bread and fish, unaware of the horror he was about to experience. Hiccup sat across from the boy and was failing to hide his smile.

"What are you so happy about?" Snotlout demanded.

"I know who Astrid is going to dare next." Hiccup answered simply.

Everyone froze and stared at Hiccup with wide eyes. "Who is it?" Fishlegs asked fearfully.

"It's not you, big guy." Hiccup assured and Fishlegs let out a sigh of relief.

"It can't be me. There are no dare-backs." Ruffnut crossed her arms. "And it's obviously not gonna be Hiccup. So it's one of you two dorks."

Tuffnut and Snotlout exchanged weary looks. They knew exactly what the blonde was capable of and they knew she wouldn't hold back in giving the most gruesome dare imaginable.

The girl of their thoughts chose that moment to saunter into the hall. She kept one hand firmly behind her back as she approached the table her friends were sitting at. "Hey, guys."

"Who is it?" Snotlout asked bluntly, not wanting to waste time fretting over what he would possibly be forced to do.

"Tuffnut." Astrid admitted and smirked. She dropped a boot on the table and immediately the kids covered their noses from the awful stench.

"Ugh! It's the smelly one too!" Ruffnut gagged.

"The smelly one?" Hiccup asked nasally, his fingers pinching his nose.

"Yeah. One boot is smellier than the other, if that makes sense." Ruffnut eyed the footwear curiously. "What does Tuff have to do with this?"

"Tuffnut, I dare you to eat this boot."

"Oh, thank Thor it's not me." Snotlout muttered.

"Well, if Tuff refuses the dare, then it gets passed down to you." Astrid crossed her arms and eyed the boy expectantly. "Well?"

Tuffnut stared at the boot in horror. He glanced at Snotlout, who glowered. "Don't even think about it, man."

The male Thorston swallowed thickly and reluctantly pulled the boot over to him. "You better look out," he growled before squeezing his eyes shut and biting into the mouldy, stained leather.

The kids watched in horrified fascination as Tuffnut gagged the fabric of the boot down. Eventually, only a few mangled pieces were left on the wooden tabletop. Tuffnut pressed his hands over his mouth and his cheeks bulged.

"You're turning green." Fishlegs observed.

Astrid laughed. "Duh. He just ate a _boot_."

"That was the single most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life." Snotlout muttered, holding his stomach.

"It was awesome." Ruffnut agreed.

Tuffnut could no longer hold down the bile and he leaned over the tabletop, throwing up most of the contents of his stomach. Cries of disgust rang across the hall, and Hiccup had a feeling they would be doing the same thing as Tuffnut if they knew what had occurred. He was close to throwing up himself.

"I'm getting out of here." Fishlegs muttered. "You're all insane."

"I'm with you, bro." Snotlout quickly followed Fishlegs out of the hall.

Ruffnut burst into laughter at her brother's misery and Hiccup glanced at Astrid. "That was nasty."

"Yeah." Astrid sighed. "I was hoping he would have passed on the dare. That way Snotlout could have eaten it and Tuffnut would be that close to losing."

The doors to the Great Hall swung open and Thorgerd Thorston hobbled in, balancing one on foot. He glared heatedly around the hall, not noticing his sick son. "Alright. Who's the joker that stole one of my boots?"

**Dare suggested by snake screamer :)**

**Next chapter: In which Tuffnut dares Snotlout.**


	9. Watch What you Say

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**Watch What you Say**

Ruffnut sat on the edge of her bed, watching as her brother once more unleashed the contents of his stomachs into the wooden bucket propped by his head. The boy was pale and very sick, but it just a violent case of the stomach bug. The girl had played her brother's sickness off as something he had eaten and her father had believed her.

She still wasn't sure how to break the news of his missing boot (of which he was still searching). But she figured it could wait to a later day.

"Dude, soon you'll be barfing up your stomach." Ruffnut remarked.

Tuffnut squeezed his eyes shut against the gross mental image and collapsed against his pillow, breathing heavily. "Shut it, Butt-Elf. Or else I'll vomit all over your bed."

Ruffnut screwed her nose up and didn't comment. She wouldn't put it past her brother to do something like that.

"Oh, will Astrid pay." Tuffnut said suddenly. "She will pay dearly!"

"You're going to have to wait next round for that, bud." Ruffnut reminded him. "There are no dare-backs."

"Who made up that stupid rule?" Tuffnut growled.

Ruffnut arched an eyebrow. "I did."

"It's inhuman to punch a sick person." Tuffnut said instantly.

"Oh, please." Ruffnut scoffed. "We're Vikings. Speaking of inhumane Vikings, what are you going to dare Snotlout to do?"

"I dunno." Tuffnut mumbled. "I'm too sick to come up with anything good."

"You've been in bed for three days. I don't think you're getting out anytime soon and I don't want this dare war to fizzle out."

"Ugh..."Tuffnut moaned. "Fine. I dare Snotlout to put up an offensive banner in the Great Hall. There. Go rely the message."

"You're forgetting something." Ruffnut said dangerously.

"Please." Tuffnut added hastily.

Ruffnut nodded in approval and got up. She left her house and entered the chilly afternoon air. Across the way she spotted Snotlout sitting on his front stoop, eyeing the sky. "What's up?" She called, making her way over to him.

"Hookfang took off and I have no idea where he is." Snotlout muttered, worried and annoyed at the same time. "I really wish he'd stop doing that."

"He'll be back." Ruffnut assured him. "They always come back. I think I have something that'll make you feel worse though."

Snotlout glanced up at her with an incredulous expression. "That's not how the phrase is supposed to go."

"Well, I don't think a dare from Tuffnut would make you feel any better so I decided to be blunt."

The boy groaned and buried his face in his hands. "What is it?"

"He dares you to hang an offensive banner in the Great Hall." Ruffnut recited.

Snotlout cautiously peered between his fingers. "That's it?"

"That's it." Ruffnut confirmed. "Being ill has taken away his creativity. I'm sure it will come back when the opportunity comes for him to dare Astrid."

"I've no doubt." Snotlout agreed. "Alright. I'll get right on that."

"I can't wait to see what you come up with." Ruffnut grinned and headed back home. Snotlout watched her go and rested his chin in his hands.

"Offensive, huh?" He mused. "Hmm..."

...

Hiccup was in the middle of sharpening an axe when someone rapped on the wooden doorframe leading to his workplace. He glanced up and was surprised to see his cousin standing in the doorway. "What's up?"

"Do you know where I can find some paint?"

Hiccup arched an eyebrow. After a moment of deliberation he asked, "Why?"

"I need it to write something offensive on a banner." Snotlout replied. "I managed to get a large piece of fabric from one of the sewers in the village. All I need is paint-and maybe a hammer and some nails."

"I think there's some leftover paint in the cupboard over there." Hiccup gestured towards the bank of wooden cubbies behind his head. Sure enough, dented metal cans glinted in the afternoon light. "The hammer and nails are in the box on the shelf."

Snotlout grabbed the desired items, thanked Hiccup and left. The small boy stared after him for a moment before shaking his head and getting back to work. "This will be interesting."

...

It took Snotlout the rest of the day to finish up his banner, but by the following morning he had finished it. Ruffnut had the nasty job of emptying her brother's bucket out and so she was there to witness Snotlout sneaking for the Great Hall ten minutes before breakfast, a piece of fabric clutched in his arms. The girl tossed the contents of the bucket in a random direction and ran inside. "Tuffnut! He finished it!"

"Lemme know what it says." Tuffnut mumbled into his pillow.

Ruffnut rolled her eyes and forcibly pulled him out of bed. Tuffnut's stomach jerked but he managed to keep it together. "Do you really want to miss this?"

"...no." Tuffnut admitted.

Ruffnut smirked and the twins left the house. Tuffnut held his stomach gingerly as they went. When they approached the doors they spotted Hiccup, Astrid and Fishlegs waiting for them on the stone steps.

"I told them what was going on." Hiccup informed. "Snotlout hasn't told us what he had written."

"I didn't even know he could write." Astrid remarked.

"Not much."

They all glanced up at the familiar voice. Snotlout rounded the corner of the hall and dropped next to them. "I can only write some words and the words I can write I have difficulty spelling. I did my best."

"What does it say?" Astrid asked curiously.

"You'll find out soon." Snotlout gestured towards the crowd of Vikings that were filing towards the hall. "How are you feeling, Tuff?"

"Like crap." Tuffnut glowered at Astrid. "Vengeance shall me mine."

"I'll be waiting for the day." Astrid drawled.

"_What slander!"_

The first, angered shout echoed from inside the hall and soon many more followed (most filled with expletives). The teens entered the hall and stood behind the group of Vikings that were staring, gobsmacked, at the banner hanging from the rafters.

_Home of the Outcasts! Boo Berkians!_

"Whoa," Fishlegs breathed. "Now that's offensive."

"_Who wrote this?"_

The kids jumped at the furious voice of Stoick the Vast. They glanced at him with innocent expressions, trying very hard not to laugh at his mangled beard. "I have no idea." Hiccup replied. "But this is an outrage!"

"It's disgusting!" Tuffnut added.

"Completely unforgivable." Astrid said seriously.

"In fact, it's so horrible I can't bear to stay here any longer." Snotlout said dramatically. He left the hall with his friends trailing behind, keeping their laughter at bay until they were a good distance away.

"Your dad looked ready to blow a gasket." Astrid giggled. "His face was priceless."

Hiccup smirked. "He's going to murder you if he finds out you did it."

"He'll never find out."

"Did you get rid of the evidence? Also known as the paint and tools?"

Snotlout blinked. "Oh, crap!"

**Dare suggested by SnowFlower Frost :)**

**Next chapter: In which Snotlout dares Fishlegs.**


	10. A Rotten Snack

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**A Rotten Snack**

"Did you guys go to the big bonfire last night?" Ruffnut asked as she and her brother took a seat at their usual table with their friends.

Hiccup snorted. "I didn't need to. I could the smoke and flames right from my bedroom. Dad was _ticked_. He kept asking me if I knew who did such a traitorous thing."

"What did you say?" Snotlout ask, stirring his soup anxiously. He had gotten rid of the evidence so the only way he would get in trouble was if someone tattled. "You didn't sell out your favourite cousin did you?"

"That would be a death wish." Hiccup said flatly. "You would no doubt retaliate by telling my father who destroyed his beloved beard and then I would be dead."

Astrid giggled. "It looks even worse than it did when it was completely chopped off."

"It is growing in uneven patches." Fishlegs mused. "It won't look halfway decent for another few weeks."

"That's good. It's getting difficult to keep a straight face around him." Hiccup picked up a piece of bread and took a bite out of it.

"Has anyone asked him about the Hiccup Incident?" Tuffnut asked eagerly.

The small boy wrinkled his nose. "Great. Now _I _have an incident. And no, thankfully. I think everyone who witnessed the event is either convinced they went crazy for a moment or is trying to forget about it altogether."

"That's good." Astrid nodded. "I think people are starting to get suspicious."

"I can't see how." Hiccup said sarcastically. "I mean, seeing boys wearing dresses is completely normal in Berk."

"Dresses that you look surprisingly good in." Astrid complimented.

"Please don't ever say that again."

"Maybe it is a good idea for us to calm the dares down a bit." Snotlout mused.

"Why can't we just stop the dare war altogether?" Fishlegs whined.

"Are you kidding? No one's refused a dare yet! We're not even close to determining a winner." Snotlout exclaimed.

"This is never ending." Fishlegs moaned.

Snotlout rolled his eyes and glanced around the hall. Beside the serving counter he spotted a barell full of rotten fish that had yet to be tossed out. The stench was slowly starting to stink the joint up and it gave Snotlout an idea.

"Well then, Fishlegs. I guess you won't be too delighted in getting dared next."

"I definitely wouldn't." Fishlegs said feelingly.

"Too bad. It's your turn." Snotlout smirked. "I dare you to eat five rotten fish."

"Haven't I suffered enough from the time Dagur made me do it?" Fishlegs protested.

"It's either that or I get you to eat a dozen raw eggs." Snotlout challenged.

Fishlegs debated between his crummy options and decided that eating the rotten fish was the lesser of the two evils. Reluctantly, he got up and walked over to the spoiled food barrel, removing five pieces of disgusting fish.

"This is so gross." Fishlegs gagged as he rejoined his friends.

"You're telling me." Ruffnut and Tuffnut chorused, covering their noses with their hands.

"There's one more thing-if you throw up before finishing all five fish, you fail the dare. Which means you lose a chance to pass up a dare."

"But that means I'll be the one closest to losing!"

"Exactly." Snotlout grinned. "So you better eat all five."

Fishlegs plugged his nose and took a shuddering breath. He took a bite of the first fish and, despite blocking one of the most important senses in regards to eating, he could _feel _the taste on his tongue, that's how strong the stench and rottenness was.

"That is so gross." Hiccup groaned, his own stomach rolling at the very sight.

Fishlegs choked down the first fish, and the second. When he got to the third his stomach was swirling violently.

"His cheeks are turning green!" Ruffnut cried when Fishlegs started on his fourth fish.

"He's not gonna make it!" Tuffnut grinned with a mixture of amusement and sympathy, recalling his own nasty experience with eating his father's boot.

Fishlegs swallowed the fourth fish and whimpered.

"Come on, you just have one more!" Astrid urged.

Fishlegs picked the last piece of fish up and stared at it. His cheeks bulged and Hiccup yelped. "Duck and cover!"

The five teens dove under the table just in time. Fishlegs could no longer contain his bile and it spewed all over the wooden table in a grotesque mess. Snotlout whooped happily.

"Yeah! Fishlegs is down one!"

"Are you okay?" Hiccup called, reluctant to emerge from his spot.

"What...kind...of...question...is...that?" Fishlegs managed to wheeze before losing his lunch again.

"Okay, that's it. Let's try to be minimal on the dares that make us puke our guts out." Astrid said in disgust.

"Sounds good." Hiccup agreed.

"If we have to." Ruffnut sighed.

"Whatever." Tuffnut grumbled.

"...so, who's gonna clean up _this _mess?"

**Dare suggestion by AnonymousXYZ :)**

**Next chapter: In which Fishlegs dares Ruffnut**


	11. Extreme Makeover: Toothless Edition

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**Extreme Makeover: Toothless Edition**

"Ruffnut!"

The blonde glanced up, a bucket of fish loosely grasped in her small hands. Tuffnut paused in front of the barn that was their Zippleback's home, turning to peer curiously at the lanky auburn-haired boy that walked towards them, his loyal Night Fury following behind.

"What's up?" Ruffnut asked.

"I just checked on Fishlegs." Hiccup informed them. "He's still battling a severe case of the stomach flu, and he wanted me to come and get you."

"Let me guess, he has a dare for me." Ruffnut arched an eyebrow knowingly.

Hiccup nodded. "Yeah. But he wouldn't tell me what it was."

Tuffnut whistled. "If Fishlegs won't spill, then it _must _be a good one."

"Or as good as Fishlegs' dares can be." Ruffnut rolled her eyes and chucked the bucket at her brother. Tuffnut was not prepared for the toss and toppled to the ground with the bucket firmly pressed against is chest. "Feed Barf and Belch. I'll be back soon-probably."

"Good luck," Hiccup wished and went off to visit Astrid, whose house was directly across from the Thorston siblings.

Ruffnut jogged down the slope to the Ingerman household. She threw open the door (as she shared Astrid's habit of hardly ever knocking on _anyone's _door) and immediately spotted a pale Fishlegs slumped on a cot by the fireplace. "You look like crap."

"I feel like it too." Fishlegs rasped. "My stomach is killing me."

"Eh, at least you ate actual _food_. It was only rotten. Tuffnut ate a shoe. That was mouldy. That'll come back and bite him in the butt more severely later on."

"You're probably right." Fishlegs managed to sit up. "I thought up a dare for you."

"Shoot."

"I dare you to paint Toothless pink, and do him up with makeup."

Ruffnut was impressed. "That's actually pretty a good one. Alright. I'll try and accomplish this tonight. But if I die, I'm coming back to haunt you."

"I don't think Toothless will kill you. Maim, maybe, but not kill." Fishlegs collapsed back against his pillow.

"Too bad you won't get to see this." Ruffnut mused. "It's going to be hilarious."

"I don't think my stomach can handle any laughter at the moment. Besides, there's no way Hiccup will let Toothless outside looking like...whatever you're going to make him look like."

"No one will get to see my masterpiece." Ruffnut sighed dramatically. "I better go and get the supplies, then. See you later."

"Have fun." Fishlegs called as the girl raced out of his house. "And _please _don't use anything permanent!"

...

Later that night, Tuffnut awoke to the sound of clanking metal cans and a soft curse. He sat up in his bed tiredly and squinted out the window, only to see a black sky with silver stars. He turned his head to see his sister stumbling towards the front door, paint cans and a small satchel clutched in her arms. "What are you doing?"

"Completing the stupid dare Fishlegs gave me." Ruffnut grunted, trying to get a better grip on her items. "Go back to sleep."

"What's the dare?" Tuffnut asked curiously.

"I have to paint Toothless pink and put makeup on him."

The boy immediately jumped from his bed, grabbing his helmet off the bedpost and shoving over his tangled blonde hair. "Let's go."

Ruffnut arched an eyebrow. "This is _my _dare."

"I know. There's no way Hiccup will let Toothless out when he sees what you've done, so I need to come along to see the end result." Tuffnut shoved the front door open and stepped out into the chilly night air wearing nothing except his pants and helmet. "I might even get to see Toothless tear you to shreds."

His sister rolled her eyes but did not argue. The twins walked through the silent village and to Hiccup's house. Ruffnut carefully edged the door open and the duo stepped inside.

Other than Stoick's thunderous snoring, there was no other sound.

"Okay, we have to be quiet and careful." Ruffnut whispered. "If the chief catches us, we're dead. If Toothless wakes up, we're probably dead. If Hiccup wakes up, we'll be lectured."

"I hate his lectures." Tuffnut wrinkled his nose as he and his sister tiptoed up the stairs. "They're so boring and pointless."

Ruffnut nodded in agreement. She halted on the second-to-last step and peered into the room. Toothless was slumbering on his rock bed and Hiccup was snoring softly in his own bed. The blonde girl took a deep breath and ventured further into the room. Tuffnut dropped on the edge of Hiccup's bed, causing the boy to jerk slightly.

"Sorry," Tuffnut mouthed when Ruffnut shot him a dirty look.

Placing her supplies by Toothless, Ruffnut grabbed a paintbrush and pried open the first can. She eyed the dark pink mixture and smirked. She dunked the brush into the can and started her work quickly, wanting to get everything done before anyone in the household woke up.

Toothless did not stir as Ruffnut slathered the paint on his body. The normally dark scales were hidden under the paint coating. The girl avoided the dragon's face, since there simply wasn't enough time to wait for the pain to dry before adding the makeup.

Tuffnut quelled a snort of laughter as he observed his sister vandalize Toothless' body with an array of colours.

The Night Fury was _not _going to be happy.

Finally, Ruffnut added a last swipe of red to Toothless' lips and got to her feet. She grabbed her supplies and motioned for Tuffnut to move, which he did. The twins hurried out of the Haddock household, only releasing their laughter when they were a safe distance away.

...

Hiccup yawned and sat up, rubbing his head. He blinked blearily against the morning sunlight and, by habit, glanced over at his dragon.

And nearly stopped breathing.

"Gack-"Was all he could sputter out as he gaped at the Night Fury.

Toothless was sloppily painted dark pink. His talons were painted green and blue, his lips red, his cheeks held a heavy layer of blush and his eyelids were a dark purple.

"Guh." Hiccup stared. "Urk."

He took a moment to gather his senses, his stunned eyes never leaving his dragon.

"_For Odin's sake! Ruffnut painted my _dragon."

A beat of silence passed as the sentence processed through his mind.

"_RUFFNUT PAINTED MY DRAGON!"_

The bellowed exclamation caused Toothless to jolt awake in surprise. He cooed softly in concern, wondering why his human was so worked up.

Hiccup groaned in agitation. "Oh sure, you wake up _now_. You couldn't have woken up when _Ruffnut was painting you pink!"_

Startled, Toothless glanced down at himself. He gave a roar of fury upon discovering that, yes, one of the blonde heathens had indeed given him a paint job.

_Ooh, that girl better watch her back. But first..._

The Night Fury gave Hiccup a demanding look.

Scowling, the boy shoved himself up and stormed over to the stairs. "Yeah, yeah. I'll find a way to get that junk off."

Ruffnut was _so _going to get it when it came time for him to dare someone.

**Dare suggestion by .7 :)**

**Next chapter: In which Ruffnut dares Hiccup.**


	12. An Unwanted Kiss

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**An Unwanted Kiss**

Tuffnut stood outside his house, scanning the vast, snowy landscape with narrowed eyes. He had just woken up and was mildly worried upon discovering that his sister wasn't home. "I hope Toothless hasn't eaten her." He muttered allowed, trying to find the familiar blonde head. "It's not easy feeding Barf and Belch by myself."

Finally, he caught sight of a small yellow spot crouched on a grassy slope. He jogged over and found the girl lying on the cold grass, her eyes barely peeking over the edge. He followed her gaze and grinned. "Too bad no one else got to see your hard work."

Ruffnut's head snapped up. She grabbed her brother by the wrist and pulled him down to her level. "Shut up," she hissed.

Tuffnut rolled his eyes but went silent. He turned his head and watched as Hiccup frantically scrubbed the paint off of his dragon. "Do you think he knows who did it?"

"Duh! Hiccup was the one that told me Fishlegs had a dare for me, remember?"

"Ah. Right. So...are you sure it's a good idea to be so close to them right now?"

"If you keep your big mouth shut, I won't get caught and I can continue to enjoy watching Hiccup mutter under his breath like some crazy person."

_Whoosh!_

Tuffnut yelped as he was knocked to the side by a large, angry black beast. He sat up to see Toothless (who still had a few faint pink spots on his body) pinning his sister to the ground, his face dangerously close to hers. "Nice going, big mouth."

Hiccup appeared at the top of the slope, a paint-stained rag clutched in his hand. He glared at Ruffnut and waved the rag in the air. "A line has been crossed! Dressing dragons up is fine and all, but _painting their body? _What kind of maniac do you have to be to vandalize a poor dragon like that?!"

"Give me a break," Ruffnut rasped, trying to keep the courage to stare into Toothless' burning green eyes. "This is a Night Fury! He isn't _poor _in the least. If he wasn't such a heavy sleeper he would have woke up and stopped me."

"_You painted him pink!_"

"It was a very complimenting colour."

Toothless growled, pushing his claw onto her chest. Not enough to harm her but enough to get the point across-he was _not _happy.

"Hiccup, your dragon is killing me!" Ruffnut squeaked, trying half-heartedly to remove the heavy weight.

"Wouldn't you want to kill the person who painted you pink?"

"Tuffnut, do something!"

Tuffnut snorted. "Um, yeah, I'm not _that _stupid."

Ruffnut let out a strangled gasp as the weight increased. "Okay! Okay! I'm sorry for painting you pink! It won't happen again! Please don't kill me!"

Somewhat satisfied, Toothless roared in her face for good measure and stormed off. Hiccup cast one more glare at Ruffnut before going back to washing his dragon. Ruffnut lay in the grass, stunned, for a moment before slowly getting to her feet. "Well. That went...eh."

"That was exciting." Tuffnut smirked. "Now let's go feed our dragon before we feed ourselves."

...

"Fishlegs, something is wrong with you."

The husky boy turned red as Hiccup dropped on the bench beside him. "Well, it was the only dare I could think of! And I thought it'd be funny...was it funny?"

"Hilarious." Hiccup bit out. "It took thirty minutes to get the stupid paint off, or at least most of it. There's still some stuck to his talons."

"What's up, losers?"

The two glanced up to see Snotlout sauntering towards them. The boy sat across from Hiccup and stole a piece of ham from the skinny boy's plate. "Ruffnut painted Toothless pink." Fishlegs informed.

Snotlout broke into a coughing fit, causing Fishlegs to lean over the table and whack him on the back. The piece of ham dislodged from his throat and splattered to the table. Ignoring the looks of disgust Snotlout burst into laughter. "No way! Where is he?"

"I cleaned him off." Hiccup said shortly. "There was no way I was letting him out in public and there was no way he was _letting _me let him out in public."

"I wish I could have seen him."

"It was the funniest thing I've ever seen."

The twins sat on the bench with Snotlout. The dark-haired boy frowned. "You got to see him?" He asked Tuffnut.

"Yeah. I went with her so I could see the final result. It was hilarious." Tuffnut snickered.

"I'm glad everyone is amused." Hiccup rolled his eyes. He cast a glance around the Great Hall and frowned slightly. "Where's Astrid?"

"What's the matter? Missing your girlfriend?" Ruffnut jeered.

Hiccup blushed. "She's not my girlfriend! At least, not officially. There's definitely something there, though."

Ruffnut scowled and glared at the tabletop. Her crush on Hiccup would never become anything serious-she could admit that. There really was no way she could compete with the bombshell beauty.

But...she _could _satisfy herself...just once.

Ruffnut smirked evilly and looked at Hiccup. "I dare you to kiss me."

Hiccup's fork clattered to his plate. His eyes grew wide. "What?!"

"I dare you to kiss me. For a minute."

"No!"

"Then you refuse a dare." Ruffnut narrowed her eyes. "And insult me in the process."

"I don't mean it like that, I just-"

"Astrid's not here. These guys won't say anything." She gave the others a deadly glare. "And you might want to save that pass for the gruesome dares yet to come."

Hiccup hesitated. "Are you _sure _you don't have another dare in mind?"

"Nope. Pucker up, pretty boy."

Hiccup screwed his eyes shut and leaned forwards. Ruffnut quickly closed the distance and eagerly pressed her lips against his.

"Ugh, I'm gonna puke." Tuffnut covered his eyes.

"This is awkward." Fishlegs muttered, turning away as Ruffnut grabbed Hiccup's face.

Hiccup kept his mouth firmly closed. The sensation he was feeling was nothing like the one he got when kissing Astrid-as Fishlegs said, it was just awkward.

Ruffnut finally pulled away after a minute and Hiccup dropped in his seat, wiping his lips frantically on his sleeve and trying not to gag.

"There." Ruffnut said cheerfully. "That wasn't so bad."

"Um...I think one of you is going to die." Snotlout whispered, gesturing subtly towards the wooden doors.

There, standing in the entryway, was Astrid, her mouth agape and eyes staring in horror, disgust and fury at Hiccup and Ruffnut.

**Dare suggested by Cottonmouth25 :)**

**Next chapter: In which Hiccup dares Tuffnut.**

**Onto round three!**


	13. Off With Her Braids!

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**Off With Her Braids!**

"Astrid, wait! It was just a dare!" Hiccup cried for the umpteenth time, his prosthetic frantically scraping against the stone as he tried desperately to climb higher and away from the blonde's angry wrath.

Astrid glowered up at him, her hands fisted by her sides. "And you couldn't just take a pass?"

"Well, I want to have my passes for the really gross dares."

Even _he _knew that was a stupid thing to say.

"So kissing Ruffnut isn't gross, then?" Astrid hissed. She braced one boot on the wall and hoisted herself up an inch. Hiccup cursed his stupidity and peered warily down at her.

"It's not like kissing you," he tried meekly. "No stars, no butterflies in the stomach..."

Astrid faltered and glanced up at the boy with narrowed eyes. Sensing he was on the right track, he continued. "It was a kiss that meant nothing. A kiss that will never amount to anything because it doesn't _mean _anything."

"...do it again and your pretty little head will be chopped off by my axe." Astrid threatened. She dropped back to the ground and Hiccup cautiously made his way down.

As soon as he was beside the girl, Astrid reared back and punched him in the shoulder. Hiccup stumbled back a few steps, his face twisted up with pain. "You deserved that." Astrid snapped. "And you better do something to get back at Ruffnut."

"Can't you wait for your turn?" Hiccup asked, rubbing his shoulder. He shrunk back at the heated glare she sent him and raised his hands in surrender. "Yeah, yeah. I'll think of something..."

"Good." Astrid smiled with satisfaction and gave Hiccup a quick kiss on the lips. "I'm off to feed Stormfly. See you later!"

Hiccup watched Astrid skip off and let out a relieved sigh. He walked down the grassy slope in search of Tuffnut. He recalled something Astrid had said a few weeks ago, the sly mention of daring Tuffnut to cut off his long blonde locks. He figured Astrid would be content with seeing Ruffnut's signature braids hacked off.

Hiccup found Tuffnut lounging on the docks, his bare feet hanging in the water. "Hey, Tuffnut."

Tuffnut glanced up and smirked. "Hey, Lover Boy. Nice to see you're still alive."

"Well, it was just a dare. Astrid understood." Hiccup shrugged, pretending as if he didn't nearly get his head bitten off by the spirited girl. "How's Ruffnut?"

"Nursing a black eye at home." Tuffnut answered. "It was pretty funny. After she dragged Ruffnut outside, she punched her out. And then she went after you."

"Is Ruffnut okay?" Hiccup asked worriedly, not wanting a rivalry to emerge between the two friends.

"She's fine. She knows how to take a punch. Thor knows I've given her enough of them."

"How about haircuts?"

Tuffnut froze. He stared at Hiccup with wide eyes. "What?"

"I dare you to cut off Ruffnut's braids." Hiccup said, feeling only a little bad.

"Pass."

Stunned, Hiccup gaped at the boy. "Seriously?"

"Look, I know my sister and I do some pretty horrible stuff to each other, but that's like an unwritten boundary." Tuffnut explained. "We don't mess with each other's hair. Someone else can cross that line. I gotta live with the girl and if I do it I'll never hear the end of it-and she'll probably kill me." Tuffnut sliced his finger across his throat for emphasis.

"Makes sense," Hiccup said finally. "See you later, Tuff."

The boy set off with a slight frown on his face. He hadn't counted on Tuffnut passing up the dare. Tuffnut was a daily punching bag for Ruffnut and vice versa, so he didn't think much of sending her brother to do the dirty deed.

"Well, either way, she's going to come after me for issuing the dare." Hiccup said aloud. "Might as well have Astrid around to defend me against her wrath."

He walked over to the Hofferson household and found the blonde feeding Stormfly some chicken. "Hey, Astrid."

"Miss me already?" Astrid teased.

"Yeah. Uh...I dare you to cut off Ruffnut's braids."

Astrid stared at Hiccup in surprise for a moment before a wide grin curled across her face. "Oh yeah. I can totally do that."

"Just her braids," Hiccup said hastily. "Not all her hair."

"Oh, don't worry. I'm not that cruel." Astrid assured the boy. "You do realize the dares she'll have for us in revenge will be ten times worse than cutting off hair, right?"

"I know." Hiccup muttered. "But you said you wanted something to get back at Ruffnut. Here it is."

"I'll do it tonight." Astrid promised.

"This will end well..."Hiccup muttered.

...

At midnight, Astrid slipped out of her house and over to the Thorston household. She opened the door and tiptoed across the hardwood, a pair of small shears in hand. Tuffnut and Ruffnut were both snoring soundly in their beds, and not a force on Earth would wake them up.

Astrid bent down by Ruffnut's bed and carefully removed the various pieces of string that held the thick braids together. When all the ties were out Astrid hovered the shears a few inches below the girl's shoulder and snapped the shears together. With a metallic _clink _the blades closed together and the hair fell to the floor like a yellow snake. Astrid copied the process with the other side and then ran her fingers through the creased ends, finishing Ruffnut's new hairdo.

"Enjoy your new look," Astrid whispered. "You're going to have it for a while!"

And with a sly grin, she headed back out into the night.

...

The morning sun broke through the darkness, rousing Ruffnut awake. The girl grumbled in annoyance and sat up, tiredly rubbing her eyes. A sudden frown crossed her features when she noticed that something felt different. Her head felt...lighter somehow.

She twisted around to step on the floor and spotted two blonde braids on the hardwood floor. An icy feeling swept through her veins and she went rigid. A dozen swear words raced through her mind, and with great reluctance she reached a hand up and ran her fingers through her blonde locks.

Blonde locks that now ended just below her shoulders.

"_AAAGGGHHH!"_

**Dare suggestion by Messier42 :)**

**Next chapter: In which Ruffnut dares Fishlegs.**


	14. Off With His Foot!

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**Off With His Foot!**

Hiccup fidgeted in his seat, casting nervous glances at the Great Hall doors every so often. It was relatively late in the morning and Ruffnut had yet to burst through the wooden doors, shouting curses and waving an axe in the air. "Tuffnut, are you _sure _your sister is alright?"

Tuffnut glanced up from his eggs, an amused look on his face. "Dude, you dared Astrid to cut off her trademark braids. Of course she isn't alright!"

"She deserved it," Astrid grumbled, tearing off a piece of her bread. "And besides, her hair will grow back."

"Yeah, at the speed of a snail." Snotlout snorted. "She's really going to kill you guys."

"Hiccup was the one who dared me." Astrid defended. "And I never back down from a challenge."

Hiccup gaped at her. "Whoa! So now you're putting the blame on _me_? You know, I don't recall getting so jealous when _you _kissed Snotlout."

"Ooh!" Snotlout laughed. "He burned you!"

Astrid went still. Hiccup cursed his big mouth, even though he knew what he said was true. "Look, all I'm saying is that it isn't fair for you to put the blame on me when _you _were the one who wanted revenge."

"And that makes me a terrible person, huh?" Astrid snapped, glaring at Hiccup angrily. "Wanting Ruffnut to know what happens when she uses the dares to make a move on my man makes me a horrible human being, right?"

"Kind of." Snotlout replied before Hiccup could open his mouth. "You heard the dude. He was fine when you kissed me on a dare. You're the one who flipped out when the tables were turned."

Astrid flipped her plate into the air, sending food flying everywhere. The blonde got up and stormed out of the hall. Hiccup burrowed his face in his hands with a groan. "I _just _got her to stop being mad at me yesterday."

"Well, you did have a good point." Fishlegs said hesitantly. "It wasn't really fair of her to get mad at you when you didn't get mad at her."

"Right now, I think Astrid is the least of your worries." Tuffnut remarked, peering over Hiccup's shoulder.

The lanky boy froze when a hand clamped tightly on his shoulder. "Have you come to kill me?" He asked weakly.

The response was a slap across the head. Hiccup yelped and rubbed the sore spot as Ruffnut sauntered around to the other side of the table and took a seat beside her brother. Her hair hung just below her shoulders, the length not even long enough for her to put it in a ponytail.

"You'll get what's coming to you in due time." Ruffnut bit out, grabbing her brother's plate and stabbing the fish furiously. "And when I say in due time, I mean _really _soon."

Hiccup gulped and shrunk in his seat.

"So, who was the person who did the dirty deed?"

Hiccup remained silent, despite his earlier remark to Astrid that it was not fair for him to take all the blame in this situation.

Ruffnut rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I have a pretty good idea of who it is, anyway."

"You probably do." Hiccup muttered. "I better get going. I have some, uh, things to do."

The boy jumped from his seat and raced out of the hall. The second he was gone, Ruffnut turned to Fishlegs and pointed a fork at him. "I dare you to steal Hiccup's prosthetic foot and hide it."

A silence descended over the table. Fishlegs gaped at the girl for a moment before squeaking, "Isn't that kind of cruel?"

Ruffnut shot him an unimpressed look and gestured to her choppy hair. Fishlegs swallowed. "Oh. Right. Um...I pass."

Ruffnut threw her hands in the air. "Seriously?! You're wasting a pass on _this_?"

"I can't do that to Hiccup!" Fishlegs defended.

"Oh! Oh! I'll do it!" Snotlout waved his hand eagerly.

"Fine," Ruffnut agreed. "Just don't hide it _too _hard. He does need it to walk, after all."

"No problem." Snotlout got up and cracked his knuckles. "I'll do it right now."

"Are you sure about that?" Fishlegs asked, picturing the wrath of Stoick if Snotlout was witnessed ambushing Hiccup and running off with his prosthetic.

"Totally. I'm stealth. No one but Hiccup will notice a thing."

"Of course Hiccup will notice, stupid. You'll be taking his _foot_."Ruffnut rolled her eyes.

Snotlout raced out of the hall and into the morning light. He squinted against the sun and peered around the village in search for the familiar lanky frame. He jogged down the slope and hurried over to Hiccup's house and rapped on the door.

Stoick opened it and Snotlout smiled innocently. "Have you seen Hiccup?"

"Isn't he in the hall with you kids?" Stoick asked, absentmindedly rubbing his uneven beard.

"He was, but he left. I was wondering if he came back home but I guess not." Snotlout backed up. "I'll check someplace else."

"Alright then." Stoick inclined his head and Snotlout took off, running across the dewy grass in search for his cousin. He spotted the boy standing on the Hofferson porch, talking to someone through the closed door.

"Should have guessed," Snotlout snorted and jogged up to the boy. "What's up, cuz?"

Hiccup paused in his pleading for Astrid to open the door to glare at Snotlout in annoyance. "Trying to get the girl I like very much to let me in." He said flatly.

"Well, you like you've been standing for a while. Why not take a rest?"

Before Hiccup could blink he was on his back on the wooden porch and Snotlout was racing away, his prosthetic foot clutched under his arm. Hiccup gaped after his cousin and stared at the place where foot should have been before scowling and hauling himself to one foot.

"What was that?" Astrid asked, finally opening the door to see what the source of the _thump _was.

"Snotlout took my foot." Hiccup said through gritted teeth, wobbling slightly. He started hopping after his cousin and Astrid watched for a moment, torn between amusement and annoyance at the Jorgenson boy.

"Do you need some help?" She called after him.

Hiccup paused and turned his head slightly. "If you're willing to offer it, yes."

Astrid closed the door behind her and jogged over to Hiccup. She looped an arm around his shoulders and helped him along. "I'm sorry about earlier." She muttered. "You do have a point. It wasn't fair of me to get mad at you when I did the same thing first."

"It's okay." Hiccup smiled, relieved that she was no longer angry with him.

Just as they started walking by the Haddock household, Stoick stepped out and spotted his son. "Hiccup! Snotlout was looking for-"He stopped, noticing his missing prosthetic foot. "What happened?" He demanded.

"A big, savage beast snatched my foot and took off." Hiccup answered as they continued along. "Don't worry about it, I'll get it back."

"Oh, Hiccup! What happened to you?"

Hiccup did not bother to turn his head. "Well, Ruffnut, my foot seems to be missing."

Astrid shot a look at the girl, who was watching them from the Great Hall stairs. "I don't suppose you've seen a giant, lumbering beast recently?"

Ruffnut's lips quirked upwards. "As a matter of fact, he just passed by here. Have fun chasing him down."

Stoick flicked his gaze from the Thorston girl to his son. A suspicious frown crossed his face as he watched Hiccup limp away, hanging onto Astrid for support.

He had a feeling that Snotlout's sudden search for his son, Ruffnut's now short hair and Hiccup's missing foot were all connected somehow.

And if those things also happened to connect with his misshapen beard, then Thor help them.

...

"They're staring at me," Hiccup muttered.

Astrid helped the boy down to the docks, where Snotlout had last been seen. Sure enough, their fellow tribe members were staring at Hiccup with a mixture of confusion and concern. "It's okay!" She assured them. "We'll get his prosthetic foot back soon!"

"Of all days for Toothless to be off doing who-knows-what with the other dragons." Hiccup complained.

"We can go find him, if you want. He's probably near the cove."

"My leg is already killing me. I will not last a walk that far and I want to keep what's left of my dignity intact, so no piggyback rides." Hiccup squinted to the end of the docks and spotted something glinting in the water. "He didn't!"

But Snotlout did.

Floating a short distance away was a small wooden boat. Inside the boat Hiccup could clearly see his prosthetic foot. He shot Astrid a pitiful glance. The blonde sighed and let go of Hiccup. "Alright. It's the least I can do."

She dove into the water and bit her lip against the frigidness. She swam as quickly as she could towards the boat and climbed in. Teeth chattering, Astrid rowed the boat back to the dock and handed Hiccup his prosthetic.

"Thank you!" Hiccup gladly took it and snapped it into place. "I wonder how Snotlout got back here without swimming."

"In a rare show of intelligence, he probably took two small boats." Astrid said flatly, rubbing her arms.

Hiccup looped an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. "Let's get you some warm soup from the Great Hall."

"You just want people to see me soaking wet."

"Well, I've been hobbling around the village for over two hours." Hiccup pointed out. "I think some embarrassment on your part isn't too much to ask."

Astrid rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Whatever. You going to get Toothless to smite Snotlout when he returns?"

"Oh, big time."

**This dare was requested by quite a few people.**

**Next chapter: In which Snotlout dares Tuffnut.**


	15. Snake in an Outhouse

**I do not own the How to Train Your Dragon franchise.**

**Snake in an Outhouse**

Snotlout limped up the slop leading the Thorston household, his backside burning. "Stupid Hiccup." He grumbled. "Sending his dang Night Fury on my butt for embarrassing him in front of the whole village. Who does he think he is?"

"I thought I smelt something burning. For a minute, I thought it was your brain."

Snotlout craned his head upwards and squinted at the twins, who were peering down at him from their roof. "Ha ha. Very funny. I'll have you know I can't sit for a week."

Ruffnut shrugged, a smirk playing across her lips. "Better Toothless than Chief."

"She's got a point." Tuffnut nodded. "So what brings you to our humble abode?"

The Jorgenson boy arched an eyebrow. He glanced at the crooked stable and droopy roof before giving a soft snort. "It's humble alright."

"At least our dragon doesn't blow our roof up every month." Ruffnut retorted.

"She's got you there." Tuffnut agreed.

Annoyed, sore and in the mood to see one of his friends perform embarrassing and possibly life-threatening tasks, Snotlout declared, "I dare Tuffnut to dump some spiders and snakes in the outhouse when Chief is using it."

Tuffnut gaped as Ruffnut burst into laughter. "Why are you daring me? She's the reason Hiccup sent Toothless on you!"

"No dare backs." Snotlout cast the female twin a frown. "But her time will come."

"Hasn't it come already?" Ruffnut asked, her mirth quickly evaporating as she ran her fingers through her choppy blonde locks.

"It'll come again." Snotlout corrected himself. "You got by tonight, Tuffnut. Or else you forfeit a pass."

Tuffnut groaned as Snotlout hobbled off. "Great. This isn't going to end well."

"For me it is." A dreamy smile crossed Ruffnut's face and she rested her chin in her hands. "I'll finally be an only child."

Scowling, Tuffnut shoved his sibling off of the roof. Ruffnut shrieked in shock as she tumbled into the hay bales below. "Whoops," Tuffnut drawled. "Didn't see you there."

Ruffnut screamed expletives and Tuffnut took his cue to leave, stumbling down the side of the roof and jumping to the long grass below. Cackling, the boy ran all the way to the grazing fields, which was often a home for snakes and spiders.

"Come out, come out, come out wherever you are." Tuffnut cooed, picking his way through the field and poking around with a stick. "Come on little snakey…I just want to use you to scare the Thor out of someone."

_Someone who will probably banish me if I'm caught._

"_Hiss!_"

A long, green-brown snake darted out, catching Tuffnut by the ankle. Tuffnut yelped in pain and pried the snake off of his skin, holding the thrashing reptile out at arm's length. "Oh, I am hurt. I am very much hurt."

Gingerly, Tuffnut put weight on his ankle and was relieved when he could still walk. Two small bits of blood slid down his exposed skin before disappearing into his boot. Tuffnut looked around and spotted a basket resting against the barn. He put the snake inside the shut the lid firmly.

"Okay, got the snake. Now for the spiders."

Tuffnut left the basket by the edge of the barn and opened the massive wooden doors. It was dark, musty and smelled absolutely disgusting.

"If this is what smelling like a barn is, then maybe I'll do people a favour and take a bath." Tuffnut gagged, pinching his nose with one hand. He checked the deepest corners of the barn and, when there was no arachnid in sight, he checked the loft. "Pay dirt!"

A nest of dozens of black spiders scuttled around the wooden beams. Tuffnut grabbed a metal bucket hanging from a rusted nail and started shoving handfuls of spiders in, being careful not to squish them.

Satisfied, Tuffnut raced out of the barn and grabbed the basket containing the snake. The boy ran to the wooden outhouse that was nearest to the Haddock household. He parked himself behind the stall, placed the bucket and basket beside him, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

When darkness fell Tuffnut grew annoyed. "What kind of guy goes this long without using the bathroom?" He hissed to himself. "I don't want to stay here all night. My foot is going numb! And-I'm talking to myself. Great. I'm turning into Hiccup-a lunatic."

The sound of crunching twigs caught his attention and Tuffnut clamped his mouth shut. He peeked out from behind the outhouse and watched as a hulking figure opened the door and entered. Tuffnut quickly grabbed the snake and spiders and heaved them over the side of the stall.

"_AAAGGH! Thor almighty! What's going-? OUCH! AAAGGGH!"_

Tuffnut paled. He knew that scream very well-it wasn't Stoick.

It was Gobber.

Tuffnut turned to run. But instead of taking off like a shot like he normally did in such situations he crumpled to the ground. Surprised, he glanced over his shoulder to see that his ankle had not simply fallen asleep. It had gone numb.

It had gone numb because his ankle had swollen to twice its size and turned into a blue-purple colour. It was the same ankle the snake had bitten.

Tuffnut was allergic to the snake bite.

But as a deadly growl cut through the night air, Tuffnut glanced up at the spider-bite covered Gobber and could not help but think that his damaged ankle was his biggest problem that evening.

"You have one chance to give me a good, solid reason as to why you did this." Gobber said in a dangerously soft voice, holding the now-dead snake in his meaty hands.

Tuffnut swallowed thickly, unable to come up with a response.

"I'm. Waiting." Gobber growled, bending closer to the Thorston boy.

It were these moments in life, where Tuffnut was backed into a corner with no means of escape, with no reasonable excuse or a route of denial, that he used the last weapon in his arsenal.

"Um…it's Ruffnut's fault?"

**Dare idea by EmmerzK.**

**Next chapter: In which Tuffnut dares Fishlegs.**


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